Just this past week, my family & I watched “The Middle”, the 2 part season finale, where the family goes to Walt Disney World. The part that still keeps sticking out in my mind is when Axel admits that he studied and his final grades are all “B’s”. He aimed High, got better than expected grades, and relished the fact that he can actually succeed in school.
I’ve been giving our foreign exchange student, little bits of wisdom, regarding being successful. I gave her this example: Shoot for studying at 100%. Learn as much as you possibly can. Then, if you take a quiz or test, and only receive a 70%, you at least know the other 30% and can improve, easily. But, if you only shoot for a 70% and only get a 70% on a quiz or test, there’s no more room grow.
As I’m now searching for a new place of employment, I aim high, applying to all the jobs that I would like to attempt. Even if I don’t get an interview, knowing that my name is out there and going through the motions puts me closer to the new life I’m yearning for.
Aiming High, Appreciate the Low also gives me hope that things are never going to be the status quo. I’ve had people ask me why I want to leave the company I’m currently at. I’ve been told that I should just be grateful of having the job that I do have.
Don’t get me wrong. I am eternally grateful that I have the job that I have. But, i know that I’ve grown out of the place. If I don’t leave, I will become stunted. My hope comes from Aiming High. My gratefulness is Appreciating the Low. But, knowing that there’s room for growth elsewhere, motivates me to keep searching.
Hopefully, this comes to you in a time that Aiming High comes naturally and Appreciating the Low is right behind.
Soooooo I know, I haven’t written awhile. I don’t have anything to apologize for, either. Successful people don’t come up with excuses as to why something didn’t happen. They just move on. But, I will say this: I was dealing with some life changing issues that needed some deep reflecting, and just writing/blogging about it would not really help. I needed to find the right words to say, so that I wouldn’t sound like a blubbering idiot.
The last time I blogged, I was going through a self-made devotional on prayer. It got too complicated, so I got the book “Screwtape Letters” by, C.S. Lewis. Wow! Talk about what goes through your mind can really change the perspective on life, relationships, and your own perspective on who God really is. Since then, I’ve had to deal with fear and negative thoughts going through my head. Trust me, if it makes you an ugly person on the inside or out, it’s not from God.
Also, I’ve been contemplating about changing places of employment. I would like to stay with the company that I currently work for, but possibly in another department. But, if leaving there would be even better-money, ego, and educationally better, then I will go for it. Scary, but will go anyway.
Yes, I said ego. Everyone has an ego. There are times when I do need my ego to be stroked. It’s healthy when someone else strokes it for the right reasons-because you deserve it. There are times when you have to stroke someone’s ego-because it’s healthy for you, making you humble. It’s when we take the two to extreme levels that they become unhealthy.
I like how a friend of mine gives me the imagery of someone who’s doing too much stroking of another person…if the person that was receiving the stroking had to stop suddenly, the person doing the stroking would end up in their rear-end. This is what brown nosing looks like. Not good for either person, and certainly not safe 🙂
Lastly, I had to figure out how to say, “No!” to certain people and understand that sometimes that’s the best key to success.
Hopefully this will be the continuation of my journey to better success.
This is a reprieve of what it means to be successful. Sometimes we just have to do things to make us feel like we’ve accomplished something for selfish reasons. It’s to revive us and motivate us to keep going on. So, when I saw this prompt, I had to do something.
We all want to travel the world, experience new adventures, attempt new skills, or whatever, which we add to our ‘bucket list’ of things to do before we die.
I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. But, here’s the top 10 things I’d like to do that doesn’t have anything to do with success, but just a sense of accomplishment, that I’ve finally know what that’s like moment. Here it goes:
1. Travel the world.
2. Try a dish from each country around the world.
3. Ride in a Ferrari
4. Go Whale Watching.
5. Drive from San Diego to Alaska
6. Ride in a limo down the Las Vegas Strip
7. Go snow skiing and then swim in the Pacific Ocean in the same day.
8. Go on a cruise.
9. Go parasailing
10. Hold a million dollars in my hand.
**11. See a Duran Duran concert.**
I was soooo in love with Simon Le Bon when I was in the 5th-7th grade. Every song of theirs and the stats of each band member was memorized. I’m sure that if the internet was up and running during those days, I’d be on their website, daily. I even got in trouble for calling their ‘976’ number and charging up my parent’s phone bill. Pictures of them donned my bedroom wall.
Now that I think about it, the concert wouldn’t be to stalk them or to relive my childhood, but allow me to see first hand the group that introduced me to other great musicians, got me into dancing, and allowed me to be my own person.
Achieving a goal would most certainly be a tool to measure success. But, sometimes attaining the goal can take awhile. In the mean time, what do you use to keep your yourself realizing that you are on the road to success?
Like I said, I know that with goal making, you’re suppose to do long term and short term goals. You should also make a list of ways to get to where you’re suppose to go. I’ve come to grips with the fact that this won’t happen. I’m either going to achieve the goal or not. Granted, with weight-loss or finishing school, there’s a time frame and physical tools to remind me that I’m on that road (finishing classes or weighing myself on the scale.).
But, for other accomplishments, it after the fact that I’ve obtained the ‘prize’, that I know I’ve achieved successfully. Prizes such as saving money to buy a new camera, a new Kate Spade purse, i.e. tell me that I’ve achieved what I set out to obtain.
I’m the type of person, though that will get myself all worked up about life’s successes and worry about what I’ll do for the rest of my life. To be successful in this, the tools that measure my success would be that of change. If I’ve changed my scenery, attitude (permanently), and/or got rid of certain things, I consider that as being successful.
Influencing someone doesn’t take a lot. They can either nag, motivate, bribe, and/or threaten you to do something. It’s all about youur personality and what you allow others to do to you.
To influence someone, means that they change they way to conduct your life. So, this can either be a good or bad thing. The bully at school can influence someone to become reclusive. The teacher who sees potential in the shy student can bring them out of their shell. The person’s influential behavior is all about what makes them feel successful.
So, to influence someone to do their best, requires that person to put aside their selfishness and understand that the recipient may not be ready to accept their help. But, when they are, they can most totally be successful and that giver becomes successful as well.
The question today, “Who in Your Life Influences You to do Your Best?”, is actually an ongoing statement. Therefore, it’s not someone in the past, but someone currently.
For me, it’s God, my husband, and whoever I feel deserves to have respect paid back to them.
God It’s my relationship with Him, that I understand that as human, I have so much to be grateful for. He’s blessed me time and time again with His graciousness, that it’s only befitting that I give it back by putting my best foot forward, at all times. My behavior, choice of words, and my lifestyle need to reflect this.
Therefore, my house isn’t in such a disarray that I can’t clean it without feeling overwhelmed. It doesn’t have cockroaches running around and has an odor that can kill King Kong.
My appearance doesn’t make people take a second look so as to embarrass myself or others around me. I know that first impressions are lasting impressions, so I need to appear accordingly.
The is also influences my behavior. I was just reminded about this not too long ago, when I was meeting a friend of our exchange student a few weeks back. He was running late in picking her up and others were waiting. But, he didn’t take the time to slow down for even 2 minutes to properly introduce himself, nor were we able to question him on who he was, where he came from, and how long is he planning on staying. It’s only through our exchange student are we able to find such information. His words as we has anxiously stood outside his car was, “I don’t understand English very good.” He’s been here for several months! So, at this point in time, my husband and I are not very fond of this person.
My husband is my anchor. Although he isn’t the nagging type (which sometimes I need) and I don’t do well with threats (which he doesn’t know how to do), he can say certain things that I know are important to him and it’s then that I understand that I either need to change or do something. It’s not very often that this happens. But, when it does, I take it to heart.
Anyone who deserves my respect These are the managers, teachers, friends, people in passing that exhibit what they ‘preach’. There are even ones that I just coming in contact once, and they can influence my behavior to change.
Almost 9 months ago, when my husband and I got rear-ended, I was distraught. People were standing by the curb to see the action and me go ballistic about the guy who rear-ended us. But, there was a woman who went inside the restaurant and got me a cup of ice water and began to calm me down. She even prayed for me. It did calm me and allowed me to gather my thoughts and pull myself together, that when the police began to question me, I was able to talk in a calm, firm voice.
God knew then, that to be able to do that and be on my ‘best behavior’, I needed physically to calm me down. My husband was dealing with his own issues. My ‘best behavior’ was to act calmly and thoroughly so as to not say anything or do anything that I would regret later.
So, who are those who influence you? As you can see, it’s not always about getting the right answer on a test; changing your entire life; or, performing to prove something.
It is a recipe for success to know your goals in life. It gives you a clearer vision and allows you to prioritize what is important.
Goals can either be perceived as being a challenge, focus, or something that is like a New Year’s Resolution-something to create, but it never transpires. I’ve been in all 3 categories.
What are my goal(s)?
I think the biggest challenge or focus right now is for me to finish school. Currently, I’m finishing my B.S. in Applied Studies at Cal State Dominguez, through their on-line program. I’m in first year, second semester, second session, which are 8 weeks long.
Yes, a bit challenging, with having to work full-time, keep up with a house, a husband, and being a host parent to a foreign exchange student.
In order to get through the day, I write down task lists and text my husband and exchange student about what’s happening, if I need their help.
Work is usually in the evenings and on weekends. So, I must use my time management skills to get everything done.
I also have to remind myself of the blessings that don’t block me from my success in achieving this goal.
The classes are all online. I only have 1 class this session. So, I can work on my homework at 3am, if need be.
Our exchange student is an adult. So, I don’t need to tote her to soccer practice, afterschool functions, and/or help her with her homework on a daily basis (like a parent would). Oh, I do help her, by setting aside time to work on questions she has and when we’re out and about, I’ll help her with the conversation skills.
My husband helps out, when he can. He’s not a stickler that the woman has to do all the housework and make dinner everynight. Plus, he’s my #1 supporter in going to school.
I know that goals are suppose to have timelines and short-term and long-term goals. A long time ago, I realized that when I did these, I stressed myself out so much so, that I’d throw the goals out the window. Therefore, I’ve changed my attitude about when things are done.
There is a target date. School is to be done in 2 years, or less. I know how many units are required and how many units I can take per semesters. I have at least 50 units, which is about 4 traditional semesters.
Each class I have an expectation to fulfill, which I determine by the end of the 2nd week. My Ethics class that I just took, I expected nothing less than a 90%. I received a 97%. My International Political Science class that I’m currently taking, maybe an 80%. I still haven’t received my first assignment as being graded, yet. It may all change.
Life is about changing according to what you can handle. Not everyone has the same agenda, ability to finish certain tasks, or passion. It’s ok to change the goal if any of these have a different meaning, once you’ve started on your road in achieving your goal.
Lastly, enjoy even the tiniest of achievements. There are times when you wont’ see the end of the road and it’ll get tiresome. Lean on the small acknowledgments.
So, what goals are you facing today?
After the last post, I had to think for myself, again, what I define as being successful.
Lately, I’ve been having a tough time with hang-ups and issues in my life. I’ve come to realize, that in order for me to be successful, I need to get over these hang-ups. Easier said than done.
But, people can see right through those who have issues going on in their lives. They’re tired, worn down, and sometimes not pleasant to be with.
In order to be successful at anything, one must look at ways to find opportunities to share with others their talents, gifts, and what more. But, worn down, unpleasant people are not fun to be around. They usually keep people away.
Granted, we are all entitled to have a moment where we just have to be alone, to feel grumpy, or to have anger. But, either let it out and get on, or find ways to do this. This is the first step to success.
Truly, I don’t like our current President. But, he’s successful because even though he’s had some rough and tough issues to deal with, he goes on. Granted, he’s like a dictator (which is not good as well), but he doesn’t let these things fester in his life.
I shared some pictures from my walk this morning of Signal Hill. It’s a visual reminder that even though I may at times want to just get too busy, I still need to take time for myself. I’m most certainly not succeeded in the exercise world or am the epitome of fit health, but it’s a reminder of my doctor’s appointment from last week.
It was not a good time. Usually I come out from the doctor’s office happy and jovial. But, I was not this time, due to certain tests that were taken. This week I hunkered down and returned to the gym and did my walk. I food journaled and drank my water. I’ve had a successful week.
The view from my “hike”
Last Tuesday, Feb. 25th, I went to a Symposium at Cal State Dominguez, where it was a panel of 4 women who talked about being successful and how they go there. They all concurred, inadvertently, that success is a personal thing. It doesn’t have to do with the stuff that you’ve accumulated or the amount of money that you make.
In order for me to figure out what I truly want, I first need to define what being successful means to me.
First, I believe success means that I have accomplished a goal that has has meaning to me. To even begin this web blog is allowing me to be on the road to success. Losing weight, finishing my B.S., having a clean home, paying my bills on time are all earmarks in making me successful. it’s a feeling of self-accomplishment.
Second, I believe that success is more about attaining the important things in life and not have to worry about having attained them for another person or in the wrong way. I can go an rob a bank and have lots of money to travel the world, give to the poor, and not have any debts. But, I that’s not successfully attaining the money or these experiences. I did it the wrong way.
I could in the name of my husband work 3 jobs, go to school, and clean the house so that we could get his ‘problem’ to go away. But, I’d hate myself and he wouldn’t have learned from ‘problem’. I would hate myself and him. So, we could have his problem go away, but have more issues to deal with. That’s not success.
Third, success is not measured with how big of bleeding heart I have. Yes, it’s important to give of your time, money, and self. But, when it starts to take away precious time in fulfilling other needs, that’s not being successful as well.
Right now, what I consider is being successful is being able to get through each day unscathed and have accomplished at least 80% of what I had set out to do. I do expect a lot from myself, which means that I put a lot on my plate.
From this symposium, it was pointed out to stop saying, “I don’t have time,” in the name of becoming successful. So, what are you suppose to say when someone wants to take of your time, money, and/or self?
That is something that has to be dealt with on a daily basis.
So, my question to you for this week is: In place of “I don’t have time”, what would you say or do to someone who needs your time, money, or self?